Yin & Yang: The Dynamic Harmony of Masculine and Feminine

We are all familiar with the yin/yang symbol: a perfect circle, one half dark, one half light. Each contains a seed of the other, flowing and in perfect equality and balance.

There is much wisdom here, wisdom that Eastern cultures understand but that Westerners tend not to learn – how to blend and balance our masculine and feminine natures, both within us and in our intimate relationships.

Yin, the feminine aspect, is flowing, receptive, open, yearning, intuitive, connected, relational, open to Spirit and to the Goddess.

Yang, the masculine, is forceful, direct, making things happen, taking charge, alert, awake, protective, powerful.

In a world ruled by polarity, too often these two forces, within us and around us, tend to be in conflict. Yet they are meant to serve each other, to flow together in a way that helps us grow and become more whole and expansive. It is a perfect map for growth.

In our growth process, and our spiritual journeys, both yin and yang are crucial for us to move forward. Here’s an example of how this works.

Say you are dissatisfied in your job and know you are here to do more, give more of your gifts to the world, but you haven’t found out what yet.

You can begin with yin, asking Spirit for guidance: “What am I here to do, show me?” Or the more general, “Guide me.” Then you are receptive and wait for guidance to come. This requires patience, trust, and awareness, being in a state of openness to Spirit and your inner voice.

Then you receive guidance, and it’s time for yang: time to take action. You decide, “Yes, I am going to make these changes in my life,” and you take the first step. Obstacles inevitably arise (this is “Earth School” after all!) to test us, challenge us, strengthen us, and purify us.

We then have the opportunity to invoke yin again: asking for guidance about what needs to be healed, what needs to happen. Then, once we have the guidance, we are called once again to yang: saying “Yes, I am moving forward anyway, even though it will be hard, even though others will disapprove. I will do what it takes.”

Yin once again calls us to trust Spirit, trust our path, even when there is not yet outer “evidence.” We just “know” and therefore proceed from this inner knowing.

And so the dance goes on…

This also plays out in our intimate relationships.

Of course, women tend to be stronger in their yin energy, and men in their yang.

However, there is a subtle and powerful dance that can occur when men surrender more into yin (trust, openness, feelings, being willing to heal and open their hearts more fully to their partners and to God/Spirit), and women step more into their yang (embracing their power, their leadership, standing firm in what they need and want, holding space for their mates to soften and heal, serving as a protector for their partners during “dark nights of the soul.”).

This can create a powerful energy of transformation, healing, and forward movement that mirrors the very dance of the Universe. In a relationship when both partners embrace both their yin and yang sides, the growth zooms, and both serve as incredible catalysts for each other’s spiritual awakening and service to the world.

Parenting Sensitive Souls & Indigos

If you are reading this, you are very likely on the wild and unpredictable path of parenting as a sensitive soul. Have you found the “rule book” yet?

Starting out with the best of intentions to “do it right,” many of us in the process of parenting feel like we’re muddling through at best, or often downright failing. So, is there another way?

Yes! If we can let go of old models of how to parent and be in relationship with our children, and open to new possibilities of relating, guidance, and love, they truly can be some of our greatest teachers, and we can grow enormously in this journey.

If you are reading this, you are very likely an advanced soul – a sensitive soul or an indigo – and your children are as well. Most children are more advanced souls than their parents, creating a very interesting dynamic to say the least!

They “know” who they are much more than our generation did growing up, and tend to see us very clearly – our gifts, foibles, and failings – and often feel very free to point them out to us!

We may hold onto the old models of parenting: “I’m the boss and that’s it, you’ll do what I say no matter what.” Or we may do the opposite and give our power as parents away: “My parents were so tough on me, you can do whatever you want, honey and I’ll just support you.” Others simply focus on their own lives and let their children fend for themselves. In these three cases, we are setting ourselves up for a lot of conflict and trouble. These are extremes of course, but most of us parent out of reactivity from our own childhoods. We either try to do what our parents did, but for most advanced souls who weren’t parented sensitively, we try to do the opposite.

Also as advanced souls, we put great pressure on ourselves to do it better than our own parents, some of us are even determined to be perfect, and that can cause its own set of glitches.

The first step we need to take is to relax!

Our children don’t want or expect us to be perfect – they chose you – imperfect, wonderful you — knowing full well what life was going to be like with a parent on the growth path!

Especially for mothers who are sensitive souls, we literally can’t stand the thought that our actions will cause our children pain, and many mothers can stand in the way of their own growth, fearing that going out in the world more fully, or standing in their power and truth, will somehow harm their children.

Nothing can be further from the truth! Again, remember, your children came to you: if they had wanted Betty Crocker or June Cleaver and the white picket fence they would have chosen that! Instead, they came for a wilder ride on planet Earth, with you.

These kids don’t want “white bread” – the standard Earth experience of focusing only on work, sleep, food, paying the bills and keeping up with the Joneses. They, like you, came to grow and serve and learn, and you can serve them exceptionally well by doing that yourself, and teaching them what you learn along the way. They do need to learn some “Earth rules” of course – but they are very likely going to create “out of the box” lives, just as you came to do – and if you can let yourself off the hook and just be yourself, learning and growing, making mistakes, being sometimes in love, sometimes in resentment, being real, they will learn from that much more than you putting yourself in a box and teaching them to do the same.

They are also incredibly forgiving of us. When you make a mistake, just like in any other relationship, you can apologize to them directly and let them know you are working on yourself and you’ll continue doing your best. If you’re sincere and this is really what you’re doing, they will believe you and allow you your mistakes (up to a point – many of these kids are indigos, so their job is also to push our buttons and help us grow – not an easy ride for sure!).

Just like all our relationships, our children will mirror for us that which is unhealed in ourselves, so for us to take this as a gift and allow our wounds and failings to come up to the surface to be healed, we will be truly receiving the gifts of these relationships.

We also need to let go of the idea that we have to “do it all ourselves,” like perhaps our own mothers did, and what the cultural ideal of a “perfect mother” is. Forget it! There must be room in your life for your own mission and your own growth – period. That will look differently for each mother, so get creative – look outside the box and see how you can do this more. Some mothers will need a fair amount of time away from their children to accomplish their missions. Others will find it easier to integrate with their kids nearby. Do what works for you.

So moms and dads, relax – throw out the old rule book, remember you are dealing with sensitive souls and indigos here (you and your kids) and you came here to be pioneers, leaders, to live and grow and show a new way on planet Earth. Have fun!

Many blessings to you on your journey of parenting and growth,

Remi and Jill

It’s your day — Women’s Day

This goes out to all of the wonderful women on this planet and the men who love and support them!

When I read that the Dalai Lama said “The world will be saved by the western woman” I got a major “zing” that can only be described as a deep soul recognition of both truth and a call to arms. “Yes,” I thought, “yes, that is true.” And of course it is much broader than that, the world is in all of our hands, but the western woman as leader in these times on this planet, yes, and yes again.

One of the most exciting things I’ve been focused on lately is the idea of the “rainbow goddess.” Not the cartoon version, light pink and fluffy, as rainbows are sometimes associated with, but real, deep, transformative substance, the rainbow of the seven chakras that make up the human being. This rainbow makes room for it all — it includes love, children, partnership, service, being our largest, wisest selves and making it happen (whatever “it” happens to be for each of us) — our highest path and purpose. It also includes grief and rage, devotion and longing, peace and revolution: the full range of our feelings.

So many women are trained to be small, quiet, supportive, and nice. Yet we are so much more! As women, all of us are taken each month through the cycles of fertility, which bring us to our knees in emotional and spiritual death and rebirth. If we are mothers, or deep lovers, we understand the concept of a part of our hearts and souls living outside of our bodies. As partners, as friends, as sisters and daughters and every other role we have, we give, and give, and give some more.

We so often chain ourselves to the collective consciousness idea of who we are and what we “should” be. It’s time for a revolution, sisters. This is way too small for us. We have wings, and we have a voice, and we have so much to give.

What are the dreams you dreamed in childhood? A very great teacher of mine speaks of our “dharma,” our life mission, as “leaving your mark of beauty on the world.” This could be creating and sharing our art, our writing, our healing services, telling the stories of those who can’t tell their own. We may be champions for children, feeding the hungry, helping others find their way.

In my work as a reader of the Akashic records (soul records of this and past lifetimes) I see that we all have a unique mission and purpose, a “soul signature” that empowers us greatly if we know and claim it. We also have a multitude of challenges and lessons we’ve chosen to work through. The task is vast in these modern times, to be sure. But we, we women, the world is calling us now. Will you answer?

The Goddesses of Strength, Power and Transformation: Durga and Kali

I invite you now to meet the goddesses Durga and Kali: great teachers for us in these times of intense transformation.

Durga is the goddess who is married to truth, guided by love, and powered by Shakti. As the story goes, once upon a time the gods and the demons were having a great battle in the heavens. This had gone on for a good long while, and it wasn’t looking good for the gods. Cast out of heaven, they were wandering the earth wondering what to do. Finally it occurs to them that they have forgotten to call in the feminine.

So they ask: “Great goddess, as yet unmanifest, we need your help! Take form and do battle with us.” From the void emerges the feminine in the form of Durga: radiantly beautiful, utterly clear, her heart and vision unobstructed, centered in love. She rides a tiger, which feeds her with primal feminine power and energy: Shakti. She is the consciousness of the feminine, yin awareness, in full power and possession of her yang energy. She has many hands, and one by one the gods give her their weapons.

Durga goes into battle. She is not angry, not fierce, just very very clear: these demons have to go. So she begins slaying them, one by one, moving through the crowd. She slays all but one, and we’ll hear that part of the story later.

Durga is one of our most powerful teachers and allies as women. She is an essential goddess on our path.

When we are in Durga energy, we are fully connected to our truth and highest good, and have the power to speak this truth clearly and calmly, without blame, judgment, or projection. She is a slayer of “demons” — our own inner obstacles, the parts of us that keep us small, the voices of collective consciousness that tell us stories of shame, of powerlessness, of fear.

Durga communicates very effectively and she does not back down. She can be fierce in her truth, but only when obstacles need to be cut away. When we are in Durga energy, we tell it like it is with love. We are connected to our hearts as well as our power, and what can be accomplished from this space is life-changing. “This is who I am and what I need, this is what I see, this needs to change.”

Durga is also in movement – she rides her tiger of Shakti and moves forward, knowing where she is going and slaying (while staying in her heart energy) what stands in the way. Durga is wise compassion in action, one of the most powerful guides we have for our path.

However, sometimes something a little more fierce is needed to do the job, and in comes Kali. In the Durga story, as I mentioned, all but one of the demons was slain by her. The one who remains is very tricky to kill: when he is injured, every drop of blood that falls springs into life as a new version of him. Durga cannot win. She knows a more powerful aspect of her is needed, and from her forehead, she births Kali.

Kali, unlike the beautiful radiant Durga, is fearsome. She is bright blue, with a necklace of skulls, a long red tongue, and wild unruly hair. She goes to work right away with the business of demon slaying. As Kali swings her weapons, her long red tongue catches the drops of blood before they fall, and finally the demon is slain.

Kali is one of the most misunderstood and feared goddesses. She is associated with rage, being out of control in one’s emotions. However, the energy of Kali can be the fuel we need to make radical changes in our lives – she is known as the goddess of revolution and the most powerful remover of obstructions.

Kali energy, unlike the energy of Durga, is not calm and clear. It is more like a volcano, unleashing energies held underground, it is not predictable and as such can wound very easily (ourselves and others). Most women get a taste of Kali before their monthly cycles – wrongly labeled as “PMS” this is Kali energy wanting to right the wrongs of the past month and get things back into balance for the coming cycle. And at midlife, Kali shows up full force to be reckoned with, for better or for worse.

“From the point of view of esoteric practice, Kali is the dynamic force of liberation, the inner kundalini energy that awakens us and guides us to realization of our identity with divine Consciousness itself. In the great game of freedom and enlightenment, she is the one who cuts the nooses that tie us, smashing our concepts, freeing us of beliefs, false personal identities, and everything else that keeps us from recognizing our true identity.” ~ Sally Kempton

So Kali offers us great gifts, if we know how to harness her intense energies and work with her.

We as women have several choices with our Kali energy: we can suppress and attempt to deny it, trying to stay small and “nice.” This results in powerlessness, depression, and a low-grade constant irritation (often toward the men in our lives) that causes us to be labeled “bitches.” “Bitch” energy is simply suppressed Kali rage, and keeps us in anger energy without affecting real change, and can destroy our intimate relationships.

Some women go full-fledged into Kali energy (the “Tawanda” scene in the movie fried green tomatoes) and “burn the house down,” allowing Kali to take over and destroy everything in her path. While this does change our 3-D lives (often not for the better!) is does not address Kali’s real need and real job: that of inner and outer transformation.

Our third choice is to understand and work very consciously with Kali energy, transforming our rage into effective power and purification of our “old stuff,” transmuting our shadow into gold. Harnessing Kali energy and using it for its intended purpose in our midlife years is one of our essential soul tasks. It is also crucial as we move forward on the transformational path, the fire to overcome darkness in ourselves, in the world and to move forward powerfully on our path.

I have much more to say about these goddesses, but for now I wanted to make an introduction and give you a taste of their energies and gifts. Call them in when you need their energies — they are here for you.

The Goddesses of Wisdom and Compassion: Kuan Yin, White Tara, Mother Mary

“In a world that is often heart-stopping in horror and breath-taking in beauty, but too often scraped down to the bone by those who leak scorn with such soul-sick pride, it is the Blessed Mother, who is so unspeakably gracious with brilliant inspirations that pour into us – if we listen, if we watch for them.

She is known by many names and many images, and has appeared in different epochs of time, to people across the world, in exactly the shapes and images the soul would most readily understand her, apprehend her, be able to embrace and be embraced by her.

Since we staggered out of the Mist eons ago, we have had irrevocable claim to the Great Mother. Since time out of mind, nowhere is there a feminine force of more compassion and understanding about the oddities and lovability of the wild and wondrous variations to be found in human beings.
Nowhere is there found a greater exemplar, teacher, mentor than she who is called amongst many other true names, Seat of Wisdom.” ~ Clarissa Pinkola Estes

We move now to the goddesses of wisdom and compassion: Kuan Yin, White Tara, and Mother Mary

These goddesses are the great healers – they come, always and without fail, when called, and they show up whole for us, no matter what our state of being. We can call them when we’re broken, lost, tender and fragile of heart and spirit. They see us always as a beloved child, innocent and deserving of healing, rest, and nourishment. They give us their all, they hold nothing back.

Most of us have never experienced unconditional love and support – these are unfortunately rare commodities on this imperfect planet. The blueprint for love on this planet has been seriously damaged, and all of us suffer the consequences. Most of us have never received pure and clear mothering, from any source, not even our own mothers. In fact, many of received wounds at the hands and heart of the one into whose care we were given at birth. As such, we grow up feeling unworthy somehow, defective, surely we would have received better love, better care had we been deserving of it.

Ye the Great Mother can enter us most fully, most readily, through the cracks of our broken hearts. The power of being in broken-heartedness and remaining open-hearted even still is one of the very great gifts we as midlife goddesses can give, this is the heart of the compassionate goddess herself. Ponder this poem:

“The swords through your heart
are not the ones which caused your wounds,
but rather, these mighty swords of Strength,
were earned by your struggles through hard times:
Sword of surrender: to withstand this time of learning
Sword of Veils, to pierce the hidden meanings of this time
Sword of Healing, to lance one’s own agony, bitterness
Sword of New Life; to cut through, cut loose, plant anew
Sword of Courage: to speak up, row on, touch others
Sword of Life Force: to draw from, lean on, purify.
Sword of Love: often heaviest to lift consistently;
turns one away from war, to instead,
fall into the arms of immaculate Strength.

Oh heart of my Mother,
give me shelter in the beautiful chambers of your heart.
keep me strong, fierce, loving, and able in this world.
Remind me daily, that despite my imperfections,
my heart remains,
completely unruined.” ~ Clarissa Pinkola Estes

Turning our need for such love to the Great Mother, as embodied in these goddesses and many more of different names, is incredibly healing: unlike our fellow humans, she is always there. She never fails us. She always welcomes us tenderly into her healing heart. She always views us and any mess we may have gotten ourselves into with vast compassion. She shows us the way home.

As women, it is one of our sacred tasks to bring the energy of these goddesses back to a planet that sorely needs them. As midlife women, we’ve experienced plenty of the conditional sort of love, asking us to be different than we are, to tell us we are somehow lacking, to be different in order to please others. We have given ourselves large helpings of the same – blaming ourselves, going into regret, refusing to forgive ourselves for our “sins.” We can’t of course control how others treat us, but we can certainly take our power back in this area and starting treating ourselves with more care, tenderness, forgiveness, compassion, with the very real help of these goddesses.

As we learn to be in the energy of unconditional love, forgiveness and brokenhearted/openhearted compassion, this naturally radiates out from us to others, to help heal the broken heart of this world.

The energy of unconditional love is one of the most powerful forces in the universe. The world is so hungry, so thirsty for mother love, the real kind. The great goddess calls you to use your powerful feminine heart for this purpose.

The Goddesses of Surrender, Love, and Devotion: Lakshmi, Radha, and Mary Magdalene

Just as important as strength and power as we move forward on our path, are the energies of surrender, love, and devotion. We need to surrender to the Divine, to Spirit, and let ourselves be worked over, guided, and moved so that we can grow and serve as we are meant to. Surrender is a very active state, requiring faith in Spirit and the higher divine process, vast trust, and patience to let the hand of Spirit work in our lives in divine ways and divine timing (not our ways and our timing, which come from a limited perspective).

Most people have many blocks and obstacles to this surrender process (hatred and mistrust of God/Spirit, bonding issues, resisting our growth, feeling too vulnerable, and many more).

Let’s meet the goddesses who have much to teach us in the areas of surrender, love, and devotion.

Lakshmi, the Hindu goddess of abundance, is surrender to the abundant grace that is flowing all the time, and which most of us fail to let in for one reason or another. Lakshmi is in a constant state of bliss and abundance, and as we invoke her, she offers this to us. She has four arms, representing dharma (our right path), kama (genuine desires), artha (true abundance) and moksha (liberation). We can ask Lakshmi to help us actualize the deepest desires of our hearts.

Radha, the beloved consort of Krishna, embodies the energy of the beloved, the one who totally gives herself, body, mind, heart and soul to her lover, and to the Divine. Surrendering sexually, and in love, is a very primal need for women. We have lost this way in our lives and in our bedrooms, and while “taking charge” is necessary, so is going fully into our yin sides and receiving, surrendering, allowing ourselves to be taken by one we love and trust. This can be a partner, or it can the Divine/God/Spirit as Beloved, and ideally both (if that is our choice).

For a woman to surrender to a living beloved, there must be great trust on her part and great consciousness on the part of the lover. Our wombs are the heart of our sexuality, and our wombs decide to whom we open. The womb is the heart of the goddess of love, and she watches and makes choices based on what she sees and experiences from the partner. This is one reason rape and sexual abuse are so devastating, as this sacred choice is taken from us. Even after emotional healing of rape or abuse, there is energetic healing that is needed on the part of the womb. As we do this, we also help all women clear this energy, and help ourselves and them hold more goddess energy here.

Mary Magdalene, despite the way she has been portrayed by Christian religion, is actually a very powerful teacher and healer. Many believe she was the sacred beloved of Christ, and helped him in crucial ways with his teaching and service. She is said to have been an initiate of the sacred sexual practice of tantra, and to have offered this to Christ as a way of grounding his ascended master energy to earth with her divine feminine energy. There are those who say they taught together, that she was a priestess in her own right, and that much of what Christ accomplished he could not have done without her presence, wisdom, love, and support.

A lost art is how to hold tantric space for our partners. It is a very great gift we can give our beloveds to hold this space. In order to do this, we must be fully in our power, our womb consciousness, and our hearts. This is sacred teaching that I am passionate about bringing more to the world…stay tuned.

You can do it!

So, how has 2013 been for you so far?

For me, it has been wild and wonderful, deeply challenging and richly rewarding. I find I am being called more and more deeply to give up shame – accepting who I really am more than ever before, releasing the collective consciousness ideas of “how it should be” and embracing instead “who I really am and what I am really here to do.”

I feel like going up to the highest building I can find and shouting from the rooftops: “People of the Earth, listen up! You are souls – divine eternal beings – you are being sold a big load of manure about who you are and what your life can be. Get free! You are here for a reason, you came with a plan, for heaven’s sake find out what it is and do everything in your power to live it!”

In my work, as a soul purpose/soul relationship transformational intuitive guide, I see the incredible power of waking up to who we truly are and embracing our path. It is amazing to me how we as humans give our power away regularly as instructed…by whom? Those who most likely have a lower consciousness than you do! Societies in general have been set up by young souls, and if you are reading this you are very likely an advanced soul come to bring a higher consciousness to Earth.

To do this, all of us need to release our shame about being different and “weird,” unplug from the very limited and destructive collective consciousness around us, stop hiding and pretending to be smaller than we are, and do our part to create the new world as the leaders, healers, and transformers that is our true identity.

Is this easy? No! This involves loss and change and people thinking you’re crazy and having to make very painful decisions to re-align your life with your truth and divine mission. And…why else are you here? Do you want to die and think, “Well, at least I pleased Grandma?”

These are deeply pivotal and transformational times, there is a real shift going on, and we all have a role. Please, for your sake as well as the sake of the planet, find yours and live it! And believe me, I do not say this lightly. I truly understand the power, strength and love it takes, and all of the grief and transformation you have to go through, to align yourself with your soul and your divine mission. But people are doing it. You can do it!

Is Your World Falling Apart? The Awakening Process – for December 2012 and beyond

(this post was co-written with a fellow healer based in Vancouver, Canada, Rémi Thivierge MSW RCSW RMFT)

We’ve all heard for years about the December 2012 phenomenon – will the world end? Will we be catapulted into some alternate universe? Are the ETs finally going to cart us away?

As we live further into the energies of this year, and into 2013 and beyond, we believe (as do other teachers and authors) that what is actually happening is that higher frequencies of light and love (God/Spirit energy) are bombarding our planet in waves, bringing us perhaps the greatest opportunity we’ve ever had as humans on all our lifetimes here on planet Earth, and also paradoxically bringing us some of the greatest suffering we’ve ever experienced – if we don’t know how to ride these waves.

As teachers and healers, we spend hours each day focused on our growth, connecting with Spirit, and helping others to do the same. And we still find ourselves getting overwhelmed by these new energies at times, and find ourselves falling into old habits and patterns as we try to cope. So we are inspired to write this to help those of you experiencing similar things without the kind of support system you need right now not only to cope, but also to thrive in these challenging times.

First, what exactly is happening? We believe Earth is a planet that has invited souls from all over many galaxies to come and learn, grow, and experience life in a realm of duality, polarity, and contrast – believing ourselves separate from God/Spirit – and eventually waking up to the fact that we are God, and living in bodies with this awareness, ending duality within ourselves and living in the bliss of Oneness together.

Well….the experiment here has had its difficulties, as we all well know. The human mind and ego proved perhaps more tenacious and clever than the designers of this place had anticipated, or perhaps it’s all part of the plan.

As there are forces of light (Spirit, ascended masters, higher beings of various realms) there are also certainly forces of darkness (beings from other planets who aren’t particularly interested in having a planet where love and union are thriving, beings from this planet who want to maintain the old order of power, domination and control, souls not in bodies who are taking our energy, etc.). In 2012, the intensity of both of these forces (light and dark) have increased dramatically, and seem to be continuing to do so. So what do we do?

First, let’s start with what not to do!

The worst things we can do in these times are to:

• Tell ourselves scary stories about what’s happening to us and the world, rather than seeing that the Earth is simply undergoing an awakening process that brings up our individual and collective fears and old stuck emotions and energies for the greater purpose of healing us all

• Blame others or judge ourselves for our experiences

• Run away from our feelings and avoid growth in all the ways we know how to (old destructive habits) – you will be missing the very reason you came to Earth this time!

• Resist growth and try to recreate your “old life,” the one that is dying, staying stuck in old ways of being rather than letting go and surrendering to the death/rebirth process that is occurring and will bring you great gifts if you let it

Unfortunately, many people are doing these very things, thus slowing down their own growth process, causing huge amounts of suffering for themselves and others around them, and creating large amounts of toxic blame, anger, hatred, etc. that is floating around our environment, which you are also probably feeling.

What we have found works best are to keep in mind and practice the following.

First, let go of fear – you are safe as a soul. Whatever is happening in your life right now (loss of job, relationship, or financial security, death or serious illness of loved ones, your own serious illness, waves of extremely intense emotion such as grief, terror, distrust, anger), it is all part of a greater flow that you are a part of, and will ultimately bring great growth if you allow it to.

Second, know you are not alone in experiencing all of these things – look around you – is anyone you know getting an “easy ride” right now? This is all part of a greater story you are in, you are not being “punished” for past misdeeds, you are not a hopeless failure, you haven’t done it all wrong. This is par for the course on Earth right now.

Third, call on high beings for help. (These beings are universal and can be called on no matter what your religious or spiritual beliefs – they serve us all unconditionally). Some ones we find invaluable are:

• Archangel Vywamus: This archangel helps with expanding your energy body and allowing you to integrate and embody the higher, more powerful energies coming in. Simply ask Vywamus to open your sushumna (your central energy channel) and your nadis (smaller energy channels distributing energy through the body) to the level that is for your highest good. You can do this as often as you like (we do this several times a week at least), and definitely do so when you feel overwhelmed or overloaded with scattered energy.

• Archangel Michael: For protection against lower/dark energies, courage to move through obstacles, and strength to meet your challenges. Ask Archangel Michael to be with you as you move through your day, to protect you when you are afraid or feel negative energies around you, and to guard your energy field as you sleep.

• Archangel Metatron: Metatron is an Archangel of new energies, Indigo children and advanced souls, and works especially well to help cleanse and align your chakra system, and will help you balance your energy field.

• Kuan Yin: a goddess of compassion, she can help soothe hurt feelings and emotional wounds, and helps you move past blame and anger to compassion and love. Call on her anytime you need to heal a hurt or have more compassion for yourself or others. You can also ask her to help others you know are suffering.

Fourth, separate your feelings from your thoughts about what’s going on and just feel! As a favorite teacher of mine says, “feel the feelings, drop the story.” Most of us have not been taught this, but we can survive any intense feelings just fine – they won’t kill us, they won’t even hurt us, and the very good news is, as we allow them to flow through us, they free up old stuck energy that has possibly been there for lifetimes, leaving more room in us for connection, joy, and love, letting more light in.

Here’s the process in a nutshell: when you feel an intense feeling coming up (let’s say it’s grief), our minds immediately go to work and begin telling us “why” we’re feeling this way – and it’s always something outside of ourselves. “I’m so sad that John left me. I knew it was going to end this way. I should have known better than to risk my heart in love again. What a fool I am! Well, I’ll know better next time, etc. etc.”).

While the mind is busy telling us a terrible story about ourselves, others, and the world, what is happening to the feeling? It sits there, festering, not moving, not healing, not going anywhere. Then our story gets so terrible we usually work ourselves into anger and start blaming, or we do any number of things to shut down (go have a beer, watch TV, distract ourselves with something that temporarily makes us feel “better” but doesn’t resolve the unfelt feeling). So, we create another scenario that brings up the feeling (remember, it’s still in there, as stuck energy), then we do the same thing, on and on, over and over again. So, nothing heals! And in these times, with the feelings coming up to be healed at a fast and furious pace, the old ways just aren’t working anymore, and may people are losing their ability to cope.

The remedy for this is simple: just feel what you’re feeling and when the story starts to play in your head, as it always will, simply know it’s a movie that your ego/mind is making up, it’s not real, don’t give it any attention, and put your feel awareness on what you are feeling, the pure sensation of feeling. Breathe as you feel. Stay with it. It will get very intense for a little while (in my experience, sometimes just a few seconds, sometimes a minute or two) and you may feel like you’re dying (this sounds scary but it’s just the ego screaming at you while you heal), then, whoosh, it moves through you and it’s over. What is left is your natural state: more joy, more peace.

This process, while simple, is pure magic. It will keep you out of all kinds of messes we create when we follow our mind’s toxic stories, and worse, carry them out in word or deed.

Blessings and peace,

Jill Miller MA and Rémi Thivierge MSW RCSW RMFT

Jill Miller MA, is a transformative counselor, guide and healer with 18 years years experience. She works worldwide with indigos and sensitive souls, helping them find their soul purpose and the divine blueprint for their lives, lives, helping clear what stands in the way of them giving their gifts to the world, and finding their joy in the process. She also has experience in guiding rites of passage (Vision Quests) for youth and adults, energy healing, and coaching through life transitions and emotional and spiritual transformations. For more information, go to http://www.soulradiance.com or email jill@soulradiance.com.

Rémi Thivierge MSW RSW RMFT is an intuitive transformational healer with 35 years experience in the helping field. He is the author of of “Profound Healing for Indigo Children &Youth…and Other
Sensitive Souls”. He specializes in helping people to resolve difficulties at multiple levels that most helpers are unable to assist with, such as past lifetime vows, historical trauma at the DNA level, etc. He also assists people to go to the next level of their spiritual development. He is the director of Indigo Soul Work Training Program and Phoenix Vision Society, which assists devastated people in the Third World. He is an accredited therapist and trainer with the American and Canadian Associations for Marriage and Family Therapy. For more info, go to http://www.indigosoulwork.com or contact Rémi at indigosoulwork@gmail.com .

The yogini circle and the late-night flight

I have received many blessings in my life, and one of the very greatest has been the experience of participating in the circle of feminine embodied spiritual practice — the yogini circle.

The teachings of the yogini circle are pretty much in every way opposite of what we’re taught as women, as people in western culture. We are taught to achieve, to be more (or less), to do more, to hide those messy feelings and get on with the job, looking as good as possible in the process. Remember the commercial, “Never let them see you sweat”?

In the yogini circle, we sweat. A lot. We dance, we celebrate the body, the senses, the tears that flow when deep feelings come. We celebrate life as it is expressed through our moment-to-moment experience of ourselves and each other.

One of my favorite aspects of feminine spirituality is that there is a goddess for everything — there is a goddess for shame, for rage, for abundance, compassion, bliss and everything in between. In the yogini circle, it is all held as sacred, as worthy of expression, of being seen. Together, we practice embodying the “inside of the inside of the inside” of each moment, showing up for ourselves and each other exactly as we are. All is welcome and all is held, and in the process, the layers of shame, guilt, unworthiness, brittleness, fear, jealousy, all start to melt away under our own and others’ loving attention. It is holy space we create together. In the yogini circle, after our practices, we share the “madhu,” (literally “the honey”) or the fruits of our spiritual practice with each other. I would like to share some with you now.

A few weeks ago, I had the great blessing to participate in a yogini circle and training in California, and I dove deep and ended the weekend very full of “honey.” I left so full, so expanded, so aware of what is possible to create together as human beings. We really can create heaven on earth — it isn’t even that hard — it’s available to us all, right now, if we have the tools, the willingness, the commitment. This isn’t pastel-colored living, either — it’s very real — there is rage there, and deep pain, and naked vulnerability in all of the parts of ourselves we’d really rather others not see. There is also ecstasy, bliss, wide-eyed awe and wonder at the beauty of who we all truly are, and who we can be together. We do all of this not only for ourselves, but for our families, our partners, our children, our lineages, the world. The “shakti” (sacred feminine energy) that we generate, we send into the earth after each practice so that the world can use it as needed. Our practice is always shared.

After the weekend, I drove to San Francisco to catch a late-night flight back home. Our plane was delayed, and as I waited in the boarding area, I looked around at my fellow travelers. To be fair, we were all pretty tired and looked pretty fried, but I noticed something else. I saw the way they held their bodies, stiff and contracted; their faces looked tense and closed. I let my eyes wander to see if there was someone who would look up, make contact, share a moment of connection in a challenging situation. Not a one. I finally found myself standing next to a kind-looking African American woman, so I struck up conversation. When I asked her what she did, she looked down and said, “well, I’m a minister.” Having been opened so completely, I felt the energy of shame radiating from her as she said this. “Really, that’s great!” I said, “What tradition?” She told me it was Evangelical Christian, and I asked her about what they did. As she spoke, and felt no judgment from me, she began to warm up and tell me. They sang, they prayed, it seemed like they generated a lot of joy and comfort for people. And she was ashamed to tell me what she did.

On a roll, I found someone else and began talking with her. She was in a difficult situation, traveling each week to Indianapolis, leaving her husband and young son at home in California during the week, for her job. I asked if she loved what she did, and she said, “No, but it’s familiar. I know how to do it.” She asked what I did, and I told her, and she lit up — “That is so great! I bet you really help people.” I could see a spark in her, and because this is what I do, asked her if she had any draw toward counseling or the helping professions (she had very kind and wise eyes). “Oh, no,” she said, “I could never do such an important job. I don’t know anything.” I was speechless. I wanted to tell her what I saw in her, so I did, a little bit in a way I thought would be received. It went in, but what if anything she chooses to do with it is up to her. I doubt I’ll ever see her again.

After these two conversations, I looked around again, even closer, and saw the ravages on faces, in eyes, in bodies, of a culture that teaches us that we are not okay as we are, that who we are is inadequate, not enough, or maybe too much. We adapt, all of us, but having been in such an open, full environment, I felt it all the more clearly. I felt sad, deeply, deeply sad that this is what passes for the human experience. I wanted to go up to everyone in that boarding area and say to them, “Do you what it feels like when your body is completely full of love? When you accept yourself just as you are? When you know you are divine, just as everyone else is? That you have gifts to the give the world? That the world needs the expression of the beauty and truth of who you are in your uniqueness? That you are loved, that you matter, just as you are, right here, right now?” And then, just to really freak them out, to tell them what our circle leader had told us this weekend — that the human body has 172,000 openings to let the divine in, to let bliss and pleasure in. Now, this is useful information! But can you imagine? “Hi, did you know you have 172,000 openings for divine love and bliss? How much are you letting in?” Of course there is no way I would do this — it would not be received in this context. But it really is what I wanted to do.

Another spiritual teacher told me that we all have to “take ourselves off the case” of trying to fix or heal anyone unless they ask — if they are not open it will not go in anyway, and since we all have free will it is not asked for, not wanted. She teaches the way to really heal the world is to become a living blessing, a living healing yourself. “Light up,” she says, “and others around you will get curious.” So, I see this now as my job assignment — to light up, in every way, to become a living blessing. I want to radiate peace, divine love, healing energy, light, grace, bliss, and have it overflow into every environment I’m a part of, including this planet. This is me, this is my madhu, my honey, and I will practice and practice and practice and let it in to the inside of the inside of the inside, for us all. May it be received by all who want it. Namaste.

Dancing with the dark Goddesses

I’ve been dancing with the fierce goddesses lately — Kali and Durga, the goddesses of truth, letting go and cutting away what does not serve, and ultimately, as I’m discovering, goddesses of love.

Kali is depicted as a fiery, consuming energy, classified as one of the dark goddesses, inspiring fear and respect. Durga’s motto is “our love is our power,” and I love her story. In the Durga myth, there is an ongoing war in the heavens between the gods and the demons. This has been going on for centuries, and the demons are winning. The gods have been cast out of the heavens and are wandering around on the wasted earth, wondering what to do. They call a council, and finally it dawns on them that they have forgotten the feminine — she has been left out of this battle. They call on the goddess and ask that she take form and help them. She does — as Durga, with many arms, riding a tiger. Her energy is so clear, so pure, so focused — she is not angry, she acts out of perfect clarity and love, she sees what must be cut away so that good can rule again, and she knows just what to do. The gods give her their weapons, and she takes them in her hands and goes into battle. Proceeding on her tiger, Durga begins slaying demons. Her mind and her heart are not at war — to her the matter is simple and based in love and truth — this is what must be to restore rightness and balance, and she proceeds. Durga embodies fierce compassion, fearlessness and patience, and keeps her equanimity and her sense of humor, no matter what dire outer circumstances present themselves.

This is such a powerful story for us all. To cut away what does not serve, we do not have to be angry, we do not have to resist or hate or any of that. We can be perfectly clear, based in love, and still get the job done.

Kali has a different energy, but serves in a similar way. She is the consort of Shiva, and Kali’s job is to midwife us into new phases, new energies. She does this by cutting away illusion, anything that keeps us separate from our true selves, our true lives, our connection with the Divine within. The only pain Kali causes is the separation from what is untrue and unreal — this causes pain, but whether or not we suffer during this process is up to us. If we cling and hold on to what is dying, we suffer, if we let go, we do not. Her pain is temporary, and what she offers us is long-term liberation and healing.

Many of us shy away from these energies — afraid of the power of truth-telling, being radically authentic, having the courage to cut away what is dying or dead in our lives. However, Kali and Durga live within us — if we do not consciously allow and dance with these energies, they will rise up in shadow form. The shadow energies of Kali are the stereotypical pre-menstrual woman, breathing fire and unleashing rage on all who dare to cross her path. When Durga lives in the shadow, she rises up to cut away more than is needed, just to get free. She is the wolf chewing off her own leg to get out of the trap — she has stayed overlong and must now go into force and destruction to get the job done, leaving wounds behind.

How do we dance with these energies in a positive, life-affirming way? First, to realize that they are not negative forces, not at all, but a vital part of the dance of death, rebirth, true aliveness. To say yes, rather than, “oh, well, that doesn’t look very nice and I don’t think so, not today, thank you very much.” Built into a woman’s monthly cycle is a gold-clad invitation to dance with Kali and Durga. They belong to the energy of autumn, the pre-menstrual time, and in the greater cycle of life, to the menopausal woman. To invite them in consciously during this time is a powerful thing. I boldly state that PMS can virtually be eliminated by consciously dancing with these goddesses. Second, to realize that, at their core, they are love. Truly. Whatever separates us from our core, our Divine selves, our true life, separates us from our love, and our true power. The Goddess is interested in love as power, and by dancing in full invitation with these Goddesses, we become more and more beings of pure love, able to truly accomplish some good in the world.

I invite you to take the time this month to dance with Kali and Durga, and see what they have to teach you, to offer you. They are waiting, and the world is waiting for women to rise up in their power without leaving behind their love. Truth and love together can heal the world. Will you stay small, or are you ready to take your place in this circle of power, of truth, of radical love? Truly, the world is waiting for you.